Thursday, April 12, 2012

A day in the life of Tweedleville

A day in the life of Tweedleville. AKA... WTF is wrong with you people?!!

Teh stoopid. It pains me.

Let me back up. *sigh*

As some of you know, I work in a place I lovingly call... Tweedleville. I work for...



the Tweedle Twins. Dee and Dum.


That is me. 

We build solid surface countertops here in Tweedleville. Last year we did a job up in Alaska. It seems that Dee screwed it up. We managed to ship a bunch of countertops up to Barrow Alaska, 1" too short. 

As usual, Dee was so close. 

Tomorrow, we send a guy up to Barrow to fix said countertop screw up. We, um... don't live in Alaska. So, we are flying our guy up to Barrow.



Which is like... the top of the world. A very hospitable place this Barrow is. A thriving metropolis of snow and ice...


and polar bears...



Let us not forget the polar bears.

So... we are sending this guy from Oregon, to Barrow Alaska. Doesn't seem like a huge problem, generally speaking; it should just be a matter of guy flies up, guy fixes, guy comes home. An inconvienience of suck, but... not disastrous. Unless of course... you are a Tweedle.

I have just learned that we are flying a guy up there in the morning. We decided to do this without sending his tools first.



Not a couple/few tools. 150-250 LBS of tools. We are going to send those on the plane like... luggage. Because everyone knows luggage never gets lost.

We aren't sure if you can fly 150-250 LBS of tools on the puddle jumper to Barrow, Tweedles says it's fine. All is well. Of course each fishing trip to Alaska he personally takes they loose his gear and the fish takes a week to get home because you can't fly with it being in such a big box, but... never mind that. None of that matters.

So, we are going to fly said dude, with tool crate on plane.

Check.

We can't fly with glue or chemical supplies of any kind. Of course, we don't want to make sure they have any of it up there from the original shipment, because... well... quite frankly, I don't know why.

Probably because that would make sense.

We also don't have the proper contact info to know exactly where our guy is going. Who, if anyone, is picking him up, where the camp is, or... well... anything else.

So, to recap, Tweedles is sending a guy, to the top of the world, hoping he might have tools when he lands, he might have supplies when he gets there, and he may be able to hop a glacier and ride into a camp and after knocking on enough igloo doors while dodging polar bears to find his way and he will reach his destination in a timely manner so no more mistakes are made.

Go Tweedles. You plan is flawless.

Tweedle dumbassery gives me migraines.

And an eye twitch.

My job in all this... fix it when it goes awry.

Shit, now both eyes are twitching.

*sigh*

Go Tweedles.

I guess the moral of this Tweedleville story is...

I vera glad I'm not that guy.

And I'm not going to get eaten by a polar bear while surfing on glacier.

I win.

o.O






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